emotional states

How Calmness Helps You Make Better Choices

Written by Rob J. Temple

It’s no secret that when we feel calm, we feel more positive about life.

We feel more grounded, happy, relaxed and in tune with our surroundings.

So, it’s no wonder that the choices and decisions we make from this calm state create a more positive effect in our lives.

Our decisions become grounded and thought-through.

However, it’s also no secret that a majority of us aren't very calm, most of the time.

We’re either rushed, busy, or occupied with thoughts that don’t inspire a sense of ‘chillax'.

(That's right… I just said chillax, and it isn't even the 90s).

Acting from this state of mind that isn't calm, relaxed and resourceful, tends to lead us on less beneficial paths. It creates a state of panic.

For example, how many times has something angered you and then you’ve ‘acted out' from that mind state, making a bad decision? Maybe something you actively regret, later.

We’ve all been there and done it, so don’t feel bad about it.

It’s fine to accept some of these mistakes you've made in the past (and may even be living out the consequences). Acceptance is a part of moving on.

It’s better to learn through mistakes, than to continue making them right?

Look at your past as lessons on how to change your mental state for the better.

Each trip up moves you a step closer to success and helps you live life from a wiser stand point.

The key is to counteract negative states of mind, with acceptance and present-moment-awareness.

It allows you to swap out harmful mental states for positive ones.

Don’t worry, this isn’t any spiritual mumbo jumbo, believe me that’s not what I’m about!

It’s literally living through choices, and we ALWAYS have a choice in the moment to act how we wish to.

It comes with taking control over our minds and the way we react to things.

Our mind is a wonderful tool when used correctly, but it can be extremely harmful to use when we lose control.

Every thought that pops into our minds has the power to influence us, for better or worse.

Your thoughts become actions and those actions shape our lives.

Deeper down than this, there is another option. The option to CHOOSE how we react to thoughts.

If you can create the idea that you want to become more calm in life and make a commitment to stick to it, then you can approach almost everything you do from this perspective.

For example, if a negative thought pops or maybe an external situation happens which triggers negative thoughts in your mind, then force yourself to step back and look at them from your calm perspective.

It's not easy, but just take a breath and make yourself think for a moment before taking your gut reaction.

Try not to engage or ignore negative thoughts… but choose to accept them instead.

Accept that the negative thoughts exist and then choose to look at them from a calm perspective.

If you ignore them, then you're leaving your unconscious mind to process them, which is dangerous.

If you engage with them, then you're giving yourself the opportunity to run with the negative behaviour.

Instead, choose to accept that they exist as a gut reaction and make a decision to process the information you have consciously and you'll find rational, well-thought decisions come easier.

Don’t let your thoughts consume you.

When you watch them (but don’t engage with them), they simply float away and you’re untouched by them.

Realise that you are separate from your thoughts and that you have the CHOICE as to which thoughts you take seriously and engage with.

From this perspective, you can remain calm in the most trying of situations and experiences.

Acting from a state of calm will produce healthier, more beneficial and positive outcomes than if you reacted out of anger or any other negative mind states.

We all know someone with a history of acting out in anger.

Maybe they have a stressful job, young children and aren't very happy with their life situation.

One day heading to work, they are suddenly lumped with a LOAD of work that will mean working late that night.

This infuriates them, because they are already tired and want to relax. Spending the rest of the day in a bad state of mind, causes their work ethic and effectiveness to become slack, meaning less gets done, and it takes longer to finish the working day.

The above example shows how acting out of frustration, anger and stressful states of mind can prolong the thing that caused the negativity in the first place.

If they had approached this scenario with a calm perspective, how do you think it would have turned out?

Instead of engaging with frustration, anger and stress, they could have watched it dissolve in their mind's eye.

Then, they could calmly get on with their work, meaning their morale, work ethic and effectiveness were far better than usual.

Overall, they would have finished the working day earlier, and in a more happy, positive and HEALTHY state.

Here’s what it all boils down to…

We all have to deal with situations we’d rather not, and life doesn’t always deal us the greatest of hands.

But our lives and happiness is shaped by the way that we react to these kinds of scenarios and situations.

We have the choice to react positively or negatively.

One option produces happiness and health, the other is a never ending spiral of suffering.

And positivity attracts positivity, while negativity attracts negativity.

Through our choices and perspectives, we can drastically transform our lives to create more happiness in and around us.

Which will have a ripple effect into every area of our lives (relationships, career, opportunities, hobbies and more).

If you allow yourself to react in a calmer way, your choices will lead you to a more positive, healthy and happy life.

Remember you have the power to be in control or your mind and what thoughts you engage with, it’s just a matter of realising this and not letting negative thoughts consume you!


PS. If you've enjoyed this post and found value in it, please take a moment to leave a comment below and share it with your friends on Facebook and Twitter. Help spread the love!

About the author

Rob J. Temple

Rob is a hypnotist, success coach and the founder of SuccessKickstart.com. He is on a one-man mission to help ONE MILLION people to build a happier, more confident, fulfilled and successful life.


  • Wow, this is so true and after listening to your CD countless times it was as if you were stood there talking to me.
    I’m moving on and progressing really well with my life choices and you’re helping immensely, I’m keen to share but I’m facing barriers from those who could be helped the most. Continue the good work, cos I know I am

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