Episode 017: 8 Principles To Make A Significant Positive Change In Your Life – with Rachel Heslin

Life is complex – so it requires a multitude of different approaches! In this episode, Rachel shares her strategies, tips and techniques to transform your life for the better and navigate your way.


The Show Notes

Rachel, tell us a bit about how you got where you are right now…

  • My father was a clinical psychologist, I was introduced to neuro-linguistic programming when I was 9
  • This is important because it changed how I looked at the world. A lot of my life has been an experiment as I figured out what I wanted to do and how I stay on track to achieve my goals.
  • I know this stuff helps me and I really wanted to share with the world what I had learned

Q: Along that roller coaster journey, what was your worst moment in life and what did you do to overcome it?….

  • I’ve have had a handful of devastating failures in my life
  • The worst ones are when I mess up and hurt other people. There's a lot of shame and guilt. The way I got through it was by imagining I was looking back on where I was from a position of having already done it
  • It helped me see more clearly and stay motivated by pulling myself out of that situation

Q: Tell us about the 8 core principles in your book

  • Most of this stuff only worked for me when I had it all lined up. The first was called letting go of shoulds and other people's goals. The first thing we need to do is identify these and find out how to let them go. The hard things are the things we have taken on as shoulds by other people.
  • What is it that we want? Get a vision
  • Then break it down into what you need to do to achieve the goal
  • You’ll run into all kinds of stories that come between you and where you want to go. Big goals are scary because they don't happen overnight. Monitor your progress. Give yourself an idea of what is actually happening as we are all really good at self-deception, and seeing your progress will motivate you
  • The sixth strategy is how do you correct your course? You can either drift off course of having plans in place to stay on course and achieve your dreams. Sometimes you realise you no longer feel the need to achieve a goal
  • Next, build momentum. It's similar to monitoring your progress, but stack things on top of things….
  • And celebrate! Not just the big things but the little things too… gratitude! It's more effective if you celebrate with other people who support you?
  • This needn't be followed in a linear fashion… they all feed into each other to create significant changes.

Q: Tell us the difference between steps and strategies.

  • I use the word strategy because its something you need to develop yourself to address each of these different areas.
  • Fears, for instance, are very personal things and each person needs to develop their own strategies to overcome them.

Q: A lot of people don't really know what they want. How do you build and define a vision?

  • This has a lot to do with what you want to do and who you want to be.
  • It’s helpful to look at the end of your life. Who do you want to speak at your funeral and how do you want to be remembered?
  • Be careful you don't create a vision based on what you think you should want.
  • Is there a contribution you want to make to the world? Really think about this.
  • Talk about where you want to be in five years
  • Is there something that calls to you that you can begin to pursue and express right now?
  • Keep in mind your pie in the sky dreams and then break it down into what it represents and how you can get there.
  • Keep in your mind where you want to go and that becomes your guiding star as you choose your daily activities.

Q: As we move towards our goals we are often knocked off course… how do we start to recognise that we are going off course and start to course correct?

  • Develop a structure of a consistent review
  • This requires honesty with oneself because it's really easy to put things off until another time
  • I advocate consistency over perfection
  • Do a little bit every day and you'll keep moving forward and stay on track

Q: Along the way, we convince ourselves that we can't do it and we are not good enough… how do you tackle that?

  • A fixed mindset believes you are who you are and your talents are there, whereas a growth mindset believes that you are evolving and developing. With a growth mindset, you can find solutions and expand whereas a fixed mindset puts the blame on you being who you are. It's very difficult to get out of a fixed mindset
  • I realised that all the energy I was putting into trying to convince other people that I was capable could be used to be more capable! Are you really giving 100% of your energy to your dreams?
  • Giving your all and failing doesn't mean you're a failure, it just means its time to try something else

Q: How do you design a life that is truly fulfilling?

  • Be aware of who I am attracted to. Are there people that you're just drawn to? What this usually indicates is that there is some quality about this person that is yearning for expression in your own life.
  • Once I realised that my fascination for this other person was an indication that I wanted to develop that quality in my own life, the fascination was replaced with a fulfilment
  • Actively look for the positive. We are wired to survive threats, but the truth is there are some amazing things in this world. Acknowledge it.
  • Incorporate physical movement in your life. Appreciate and nurture your body. Physical vitality will help you move forward and achieve your dreams
  • Ask what else might be possible. This triggers the brain to start looking for things for you.

The Quickfire Round

Q: What is the best personal development advice you ever got, and from whom?

  • My mentor Derek Ryndel: Give that which appears missing.
  • Everything that we want to be already lives inside us. If you feel like you're lacking something, look for ways to give those to other people

Q: Can you give us a personal habit or personality trait that you think most contributes to your success?

  • When I started using my reactions to other people as an indication of what parts of me need work.
  • It's easy to see in other people reflections of where I'm not comfortable

Q: What does success mean to you?

  • Being fully engaged with your life. Life is not an end goal. Are you aware of the beauty of life around you? Are you contributing?

Q: Where can our listeners find out more about you and what you do?

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