The Show Notes
Eric, what's your story
- I had been involved in corporate America, chasing that salary, that office, that next promotion and somewhere in the middle of all of this I remember my son saying “you probably won't be here because you’ll have to work” – that cut me
- So, I tried to explain but then he said “that's OK because I know you like work more”
- So, I was chasing success but giving up my life in the process and how am I ever going to get back to my life because life is passing as we speak
- Then I understood that success isn't that thing that we're after but more about the moment that we are living in
- I couldn't just devote success to just one corner of my life and expect the rest of my life to be on hold
- A big part of what I do as a coach is to help maintain both the drive towards the success but the balance in life.
Q: Along the way if you had to identify the most difficult, worst, lowest moment in your life what would that be and what did you do to overcome it? What's the lesson you took away from that part of your life?
- That conversation with my son was the opening of those moments and then I started to look around and realised how disconnected I was from the life I was trying to build
- We had a bank account and a car and all of the external things but my primary relationships were zero, flatlined
- I was showing up looking at my phone, distracted, exhausted and trying to figure out how fast I could get out of the room
- My health was crap and I just buckled it up with medication, quick fixes, everything was hanging off the edge
- I thought this is crazy – what happens if I do get that promotion, that corner office? And then I started sabotaging my career because if I go that next step I'm completely out of everything. One more project, promotion and I could lose everything
- I saw it in my life and I saw it in others and they start to sabotage the one area that they are being successful in and that success is pulling them away from what they really want
- Before it crashed and burnt, I had to become more disciplined about managing my mindset and my time committing to the things that need to be committed to.
Q: You help people to break the BS blocks that are limiting their success – what kind of blocks are we talking about and what do they look like?
- You either have, if I don't do this no one else will so that's why I always have to be in motion or I'm not good enough to do that or big enough, smart enough or talented enough so we tell ourselves we are not enough.
- Or if we don't do it, we won't be anything and I often see it with entrepreneurs and executives.
- We tell ourselves so many little lies because we're afraid that if we get rid of the lie, what would life look like?
Q: Tell us in your experience what causes these blocks in the first place – how do these blocks get created?
- Mine began originally because of people of influence in my life. As we grow up we gather people of influence, my parents, my siblings. My father always told me I was stupid.
- So, I built this belief that I was stupid, but I couldn't accomplish anything that required me to write a word on a piece of paper. Then I looked for opportunities that would reinforce that belief. Then I learned to live into their lies because they were smarter people than me, I gave them that right. So these limiting beliefs we are not born with them, we gather them because we are tattooed with our tribal language and sometimes that language is our family, unity, culture, gender, race and unless we stop and say who defined these as the truth, and realise that I don't need to get the label that you gave me.
Q: What are the symptoms of somebody suffering from blocks? What does that look like and how can they look to recognise this in themselves?
- The words that we use sometimes so casually, so accidentally are spoken into existence so we need to go back and unspeak them
- Monitor how you talk about yourself – when you have those absolute statements, that's where you've settled into the belief system of others
- the first thing I teach is, that is who I was but moving forward, this is who I'm going to become.
Q: What's your experience in the general world of how social media and big level influencers are affecting our own mindset and belief in ourselves?
- We walk through the world believing that we are incomplete. We have 60-70% of everything we need to be successful in the world and we go out looking at other people, at what they have but the truth is you were born perfectly and divinely complete
- We as humans always feel that we are the exception to the universal rule. Trees don't say oh I'm incomplete so I won't grow! Why do humans get to have all these excuses for their brokenness?
- So we gather influences sometimes accidentally, sometimes intentionally because we are trying to find the broken pieces in other people but you are complete, full and have everything that you need to create the life you desire
- What's missing is your awareness of it. Coaching, guides, mentors don't come in and try to influence you in into becoming something else, they influence you into becoming who you are by exposing the path and the awareness you need to gain to achieve it.
Q: What would you say to those people who think they are the exception?
- If you say you are the exception to the rule then I am dying to meet you!
- It's not so much that you are the exception, you just feel lost in the confusion and that's often where we all begin
- This is not the life I want to live, this is not who I want to become, this is not the story I want to finish with, what inside of me needs to change and what needs to be awakened?
- When I went through my experience with my son, I had clearly suffocated my father role in exchange for this corporate America bigwig thing. I've got to go back and figure out how to be a dad and how to connect with him, what it means to be present
- There's no balance, there's just presence
- It's about looking at the moment that I'm in, how can I be fully engaged in this moment at a level that will bring me joy
- I have great joy in work, I love working and my kid knows that I love working but he also now knows that I love sitting playing with comics, lego or whatever
- He doesn't feel that I love work more, he understands that I can now love both things fully.
Q: What would you say are the top 3 things you would encourage our listeners to do right now to start breaking through these blockages and start making tremendous changes in their lives based on what you shared with us?
- Monitor what you say, listen to yourself and when you hear yourself making those definitive statements, ” I'm stupid”, “I'm lazy”, just mentally jot it down and then take a moment and reflect on it. Where did this come from and why am I still holding onto it? What value is it serving me in my current life?
- Counterbalance that negative statement then it's the only thing that's allowed to grow inside me and over time that's where we get trapped
- So monitor the words that you're saying and then look into it and ask why am I holding onto this, who gave me this, who labelled me this way and then begin to look at small steps that you can do to counterbalance it
- I put 5 rubber bands on my left wrist and by the time I go to bed they've all got to be on my right wrist and the only way they can go from one to the other is if I say something positive about myself or if I'm in a really highly productive mode, I have to remember that I have to say 5 positive things to my daughter.
- I may get to the end of the day and think I've only got 3 and 2 so I need to come up with two ways to interact with people of significance in my life
- You've got to manage your thinking and your words.
The Quickfire Round
Q: What is the best personal development advice you ever got, and from whom?
- I'd have to give it to my mother even though I didn't know it at the time. It took 15 to 20 years to unpack it and she said no matter where you go, you're there.
Q: Can you give us a personal habit or personality trait that you think most contributes to your success?
- What I do with myself and my coaching clients is when I set up my timer for the day, I transfer to a paper calendar only for the day and each of those time spots I look at and say who do I need to be during that time so this morning when I was planning my morning and I knew we were going to be meeting, I thought who do I need to be in that moment? What do I need to bring into it? What is my intention? What is my goal? What is the energy? What do I want to leave the room with? I do that for everything that's going on throughout my day even if it doesn't include people
- Knowing what I want to be during the time before the time occurs makes that time much more productive, much more intentional.
Q: What does success mean to you?
- It used to mean that corporate office but now it means being present and fully engaged with the joy in the moment that I'm living.
Q: Where can people go to find out a bit more about you and your work?
- Find Eric on his website: www.ericgreid.com